1.) Kashia, adoption has always been a huge part of your family. Both your mother and your youngest brother are adopted, and your husband’s mother is adopted as well. Have you and Riley both always had adoption in your hearts?
Oh my goodness, yes times a million! It was one of the things we first bonded over when we met. We have always loved the plan to adopt and knew no matter what our circumstances were, that we were going to one day.
2.) How did your faith help you through struggling with infertility and the adoption process?
My faith was what kept me alive, honestly. I had been learning and growing and making my faith so strong in those 27 years of my life, not knowing that it was what would keep me from falling during infertility and adoption. Because of my faith, I knew that infertility was never mine or my husband’s fault. Because of my faith, I knew that we would one day have a family. Because of my faith, I knew that if I couldn’t handle anymore, I could get on my knees and pray and KNOW my pleas would be answered. It doesn’t mean that it was easy going through infertility and adoption, but it saved me from falling into the deep “why me” and dark depression.
3.) How has becoming a mother changed your perspective on life?
Becoming a mother almost makes you feel like you have become a different person, and you’re trying to figure her out. You no longer are quick to judge—especially other parents—your desire for service has taken over your heart, and who you want to be and become in this life changes drastically. I knew my purpose here on earth before I became a mother, but the moment I became one, it all changed. It’s even better!
4.) What has been the best moment since adopting your daughter, Lemmon?
I know it sounds cliche, but the moment she recognized me as “Mommy” and started calling me that. It’s something I waited on for years. I remember sitting in our hotel room when Lemmon was only 4 days old, crying to my husband “What if she doesn’t recognize me as her mom? What if she wants her birth mom because that’s all she known, heard, smelled? Will I be able to comfort her in the night?” I was so nervous that I took her from the only one thing that she knew on this earth. But my mommy instincts went into hyper drive and I did everything I knew I could to claim that title, “Mom”.
5.) What do think are the three most important lessons to teach children who have been adopted?
They are loved by people who have met them, never met them, wish to meet them, dream about them, and pray for them. They have so much family, that they will never be able to run away from them.
Their story is different and unique and they need to embrace that! Be bold in your response to others, some people embrace different, while others turn away. Your story is YOURS, no one else’s and it’s incredible because you are here, living, breathing, and being loved by so many.
Don’t resent! On both ends of your adoption. I’ve seen it happen, and it just makes you bitter in life. Be grateful for the birth parents who placed you for a different or better life. Be grateful for the adoptive parents who loved you and raised you. Be grateful for your story, that you are unique and different. Be grateful you are here!
6.) There are so many children in need of loving families. What would you say to those who are on the fence, considering adoption?
Get ready for the most exciting journey of your life! Your heart will feel emotions that it has never felt before. Emotions that most people won’t feel. Don’t think twice about the child’s DNA. I often hear “My spouse is so nervous the kid will be crazy or do crazy things.” My response, “How do you know EXACTLY that your own flesh and blood wont do that as well.” DON’T worry!! Just do, and the Lord will give you strength to overcome whatever happens.
7.) What encouragement would you give to all of the children and youth who are currently waiting?
Heavenly Father knows you so well and his time table is far better then our own. The greatest gift he can give us is a family. Keep God close, I waited many years and still am waiting for my family, but the only thing that kept me going, is knowing that God loves me so much that he had and has a special family waiting for me. Keep God close!
Hi! I’m Kashia Palmer, a wife to the sweetest most self-less man and a mom to the most beautiful, full of life 2 year old. I am a stay-at-home mom and feel like there is no better job than this one! We are currently working on our second adoption (hopefully any day now), and we like to say we have adoption in our blood! Both my husband and I come from a pool of adoption. It’s become who we are and it’s how we build our family. Our families mean everything to us and we can’t wait to see how it grows!
To learn more about Kashia and to follow her journey, connect with her on Instagram @KashiaPalmer.